The right turn that was never right....

Continuing with the bike extravaganza, Shetty and I didn't have any major major accident as far as I can remember. The biggest one I do recollect also turned out to be one of the funnier moments that we have shared.

Magellan and I were travelling on a very crowded two way road close to Thane station. There were many right turns that one could take, but it just so happened that we had to take one specific turn. Ofcourse, as always, I had no clue where we were going. Shetty was usually in charge of where we were going and that day was no exception. I should also mention that Shetty abandoned his relativity theory (read previous post) after Einstein himself came in one of Shetty's dreams and personally refuted it. This then, made the whole process of turning a lot easier.

The dividerless-road was very busy, with cycles, buses, cars and rickshaws all over the place. Pedestrians with suicidal tendencies didn't make things easier. We might have been travelling at about 30-40 km/hr. There was a right turn coming ahead of us. For some reason I thought this was the turn we were supposed to take. I was waiting for Shetty's order. The turn was right here. I was ready to swerve as soon as Shetty told me to. He didn't. Obviously that wasn't the turn then. I scolded myself inside my head and told myself to not make any predetermined turn unless told by Shetty. The turn was almost unturnable when Shetty shouted... "Right right right!!! right right... Bhat right... sorry.. right!!"

I must confess I was a bit panic stricken then. I went for it with the least confidence. Of course, as always, things turned into slow motion. It was almost as if my ears became extra sensitive to the innumerable horns and abuses that came from behind. But I knew I had a job to do. I started to take a sharp turn. The kinetic was now halfway into the turn and was wobbling due to my rock  steady hands! Shetty and I could still see a possibility of making it alive to the road to our right, where we wanted to go. We were just about to heave a sigh of relief when Shetty yelled "Shit! Sorry sorry, straight straight.. sorry Bhat.. straight straight... that's a one way... Bhat straight... sorry!"

If we had to get back on the road, I would have to take a turn as sharp as Chirag's vision when he spots a Gujarathi girl. I went for it without looking into the rear view mirror. Any vehicle coming from behind was my least concern..... I was wrong. It should have been my primary concern. I managed to get the bike on the road but in the process went and parallelly bumped into a rickshaw. I don't know what happened, but the kinetic and the rickshaw stuck to each other somehow. It was almost like the rickshaw and kinetic were Jai and Veeru travelling aside each other at 30 km/hr. We couldn't get the kinetic to separate. We were riding right next to the rickshaw, both of us trying our best to unglue. That was not the problem though.

"Bhaaat", Shetty screamed. I looked back to see Shetty halfway into the rickshaw. His left leg was inside the passenger seat. I was desperately trying to get away but to no avail. Shetty put his left arm inside the rickshaw just so that he could push himself out. Then the unthinkable happened.

The rickshaw in which Shetty was almost in was not any rickshaw. It was a rickshaw with a mother and her teenage daughter right at the cusp of puberty. Out of nowhere half the girl's dupatta flew and covered Shetty's face, making him blind in this very sensitive situation. Completely oblivious to the fact that this was actually an accident, the mother took it upon herself to save her daughter from this lecherous man. That was her ultimate goal. She thought Shetty was actually trying to get INTO the rickshaw because of her daughter! I heard huge thumps from behind. I looked back and saw the mother slapping Shetty's thighs hard. "Aaaaaaah!!!!!" Shetty screamed. "Bhat!!! Do something man.. .Please... ", while trying not to be suffocated.

"Go away!.. get away from my daughter!!... I won't let you come close to her.... ", thump, thump...... slap slap. Shetty was sweating. He got his right hand into action now in a dire attempt to get the dupatta off his face while trying to frantically explain that he was in no mood or position to rape anyone. "No Aunty, its not like that..... its an accident... "

PINCH..... 

"Oh Shit!! Aunty please!!!! Believe me..... I am stuck here... stop pinching me!!!"

 THUMP.... 

"Aunty!!!! Bhat! I can't see anything! Do something... Believe me aunty!! IT IS AN ACCIDENT!! I am not trying to ......Aunty... I am not that kind of a guy who looks at girls aunty... I mean I like girls... but not like your daughter.. Not that she is not loveable! Shit! I mean.. I dont LOVE her.... I haven't even looked at her yet!No NO!! I don't mean to look at her aunty! Who would want to look at her in this situation!! I mean... Bhat please yaar!!! Aunty.... Please!!!"

This went on for about half a minute, but it seemed like half a day. Somehow we managed to get disentangled from the rickshaw just after Shetty managed to untwine the dupatta. We don't know how. We don't care how! We just did. No one was hurt. Well.. no one but Shetty. His left thigh might have been blood red, what with all the spanks. The rickshawvalla was kind enough to not charge us by the meter for the time Shetty was in it. The mother probably would still be proud of herself for saving her daughter. I am sure it would make a great tea time story with the girl's in laws.