Now that I think about it, Chirag was the undeniable attention grabber amongst the last benchers at Kalra Shukla classes. I know what you guys are thinking and let me stop you right there. His curly hair had very little to do with it, if at all. Chirag unleashed his full potential as the 'naughty yet likeable' guy who appeals to girls that age, with a force that is just too strong to resist. Add to that his raw, manly and rugged looks and you had a combination which would make the genetic combination of Hrithik Roshan and Tom Cruise wimp with envy.
Let's give Chirag a few moments to gather himself and realize that from this moment on, this blog will never be taken seriously. Now a few minutes for Shetty to start blinking again. Ok.
There were six seats on the last row of our class, three on each side of the central space through which one could exit. There were seven of us who desperately claimed the last row. Hence, everyday, each of us had to take turns to sit on the world's most uncomfortable stool placed right in the centre of the two three-seat rows. That fateful day, it was Chirag's turn.
The lecture was being taken by this chemistry teacher who bore a little too much resemblance to the cricketer Sunil Joshi. He used to be very soft spoken, but we soon realised, he was sharper than we thought. To keep the 'last benchers' flag' flying high, we were as usual up to no good. Chirag started narrating (whispering) something funny that happened the previous evening. He had this mischievous glint in his eyes as he was nearing his punch line. In the meantime, our teacher had spotted Mr Chirag and his glint, so he started walking towards him slowly without changing the tone of his lecture. Chirag, completely oblivious of this, was now getting a bit too animated for an ongoing lecture. We spotted the teacher, but couldn't convey this to Chirag since our energy was being spent on flaring our nostrils to control our laughter.
Before he sensed it, the teacher was staring down on him, too close for comfort. Chirag was literally under his nose. Chirag looked up. We could hardly see Chirag's eyeballs. In this confusion, Chirag didn't realise that the teacher had framed a long and complicated question while walking up to him. All Chirag heard was, "Hmmm?".
The teacher was breathing down his neck. Droplets of water started accumulating on Chirag's forehead. We couldn't figure out if they were sweat droplets or just breath condensation due to all the 'nasal warming'. He tried to locate the answer on the teacher's brain, which was now exclusively visible to Chirag. As if the teacher's normal exhale was not enough, he decided to let go a long sigh of disappointment on Chirag. Chirag stopped breathing with the fear of poisoning himself with carbon dioxide overdose. He had to do something quick. He had to think fast, save face. He had to come up with something before the next exhale!
Just when our teacher thought he had his prey in his grasp, Chirag asked with diligent innocence, "Can you please repeat the question, Sir?". The teacher realized what Chirag had done. He had killed two birds with one stone. First, he had bought himself precious time. If the teacher had to frame the long curvy question again, he would have to turn back and move away from Chirag. Hence, second, Chirag had earned himself the opportunity to inhale. Amidst the other students' mumbled laughter, the teacher turned back and started framing the question. Chirag had enough time to get the answer from someone else. The teacher reached the black board and turned back. Chirag answered with a nonchalance that might have made you think he knew the answer since 'Fair and Lovely' stopped sponsoring Ankit.
Moral of the story: If you want Chirag to think fast during an intense pressure situation, breathe on him.
