Days went by and Shetty and I got
more comfortable with the gym. We started getting better at our exercise
routine – by our standards. Shetty especially liked the bench press. He would
enjoy it thoroughly. The moment the gym gods realised Shetty enjoyed it, they
sent in Rennie - stout, 5 feet 5 inches, pimples all over the face, curly hair
and thick skin. He came in with a sense of royalty and familiarity. He wasn’t
new to this. He had an air of achievement. One wouldn’t give him a second look
if seen on the street but when in the gym he was all authority. We glanced at
him and continued our thing.
The moment our eyes turned away, we heard embarrassingly
loud groans. With every repetition of Rennie’s heavy arm curl he moaned –
“Yeeeeah, yeeees!” The problem was he didn’t stop there. It went to “Oh yeeeah,
oh yeeees”. Shetty couldn’t believe this public display of audio porn. I was
already flaring my nostrils to cover my smile. That further egged Shetty on. He
signalled that he was going outside. I followed. After about 10 minutes of
uncontrollable laughter we came back, only to be greeted by louder moans. We
were shocked to see that no one in the gym seemed to be bothered by it. We tried
to make our peace with it, and thought we possibly found it funny because it
was our “first time”. We decided to kill the laughter and continue with the
exercise. Shetty got under the bench press. I was waiting behind the equipment
just in case as per Kenny’s instructions. Shetty started his repetitions. 1, 2,
3…6…
“DIESEL POWER!!!!”, Rennie the
sex craved tiger roared. I noticed Shetty was losing his grip. I told him to
concentrate. Shetty closed his eyes and scolded himself for being amused at
something completely normal. He resumed – 7, 8, 9….
“BEEYAAAATCH!!!!!” Rennie
orgasmed! Shetty’s right hand paralysed. I was down on the floor, literally
ROFLing. Shetty half laughing-half scared screamed “Bhat, Bhat help help”. I
crawled back up to support Shetty.
“BHEEENCHOOOD!!!!!!!!” Rennie was
in no mood to stop. I fell back on the ground. Shetty’s left hand paralysed. With
the weight inches away from his neck, Shetty didn’t seem too bothered about his
life. Even if he was, you couldn’t have noticed it on his face, which was now
red with laughter.
Thankfully Rennie put his weights
down, which gave us enough time to recover from our mirth-induced coma. Shetty
and I together had the energy of half a man. It’s amazing how much energy
laughing takes up. We clumsily managed to put the bench press in place and
headed straight to the changing room. Nerves in the neck bloated up to
unimaginable proportions! We didn’t think we could stop. Well, we had to.
Rennie walked in.
The nerves disappeared as
mysteriously as they had appeared. Our colour faded to a dull red before becoming
completely pale. Our tongues went dry. He didn’t look at us. He wasn’t here to
wring our necks. ‘That’s a relief’, we thought. Hardly did we know then that relief
comes with a shelf life. Rennie started undressing. Before we knew it, he was
standing with his back in front of us. Even though we could have avoided it
(which now concerns me a little bit), our eyes quickly glanced at the only
piece of clothing that was covering him. The hardcore gym rhinoceros, made of
steel and questionable cravings was wearing underwear that had daffy ducks all
over it. Yellow and orange fluff adorned the testosterone filled clothing. We
had to get out of there. Laughing in front of him could have been fatal. With
our fists on our respective mouths we were out of the gym in no time. Our
workout was ruined sure, but if you wanted to spot disappointment on our faces,
you’d be disappointed.
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