Tantri the Mantri

Shetty, Ankit, Chirag and I joined Kalra Shukla classes in our 12th standard like many others. We used to have classes from way early in the morning to mid afternoon. We have way way too many memories during that period. I will start with one of our class administrator. We don't know his name yet, but we used to call him Tantri - after Tantri the Mantri in Tinkle. Yes, we were into fiction. For those who haven't read it, here is a rough description. He was fair and had a moustache like Anil Kapoor, body frame like Tushar Kapoor (or is it Tusshaarr?) and used to sweep his hair right across his left ear to right ear.

Our first class. It was 7 in the morning. It wasn't the best time for many people to be awake. Still everyone was in a good mood since we just heard that ours was the only class which didn't have a CCTV camera. What a narrow escape we thought. We entered the class through a glass door and found the blackboard right next to it. We obediently went and sat on the last bench in front of a full class. One of the professors entered and started teaching rightaway. Everyone was trying hard to concentrate. We realised soon it was impossible. This wasn't because of the professor's inability. Our Tantri was standing right outside the glass door staring at the entire class with huge eyes. Either he had a lot of lubrication in his eyes or he had invisible clips because he didn't seem to blink once. We were all taken aback by this inappropriate attention. The professor was too involved in teaching and didn't know what was going on behind his back. It was like every move of ours was being filmed and criticised at the same time. The eyes served the purpose of a camera and a critic simultaneously. The entire class was still. Moving an elbow was difficult. Somehow we got through the 50 minutes of the lecture. Right after the lecture ended we defrosted ourselves. Its amazing how an entire class can get a feeling of being molested at the same time.

We were still figuring out what just happened and whether this was going to be an every lecture thing. In came Tantri. He was looking furious. In a not so manly manner he pointed his fingers at some of the people in the class and said "You were sleeping; you were yawning; you were smiling; you were playing with your hair and you were not taking notes!". Excellent. He was definitely taking notes. Thankfully none of the points were at any of us. We made good statues. Our doubt whether this was going to be an every lecture thing was soon defogged in the next lecture when the smart Tantri got a chair to sit outside the glass door. His eyes were here to stay.

Days went by. It was a normal day. Break time and the electricity went off. Now this is not an uncommon phenomenon. We continued eating. Suddently Tantri came inside the class. He was looking hassled, confused, angry and helpless at the same time. "Who is doing it?", he asked. Oh, so he was thinking that one of us had messed with the fuse or something. No one said anything. "Who is doing it???? Who has got non-veg in their tiffin?". This was a "stop eating" weird statement. "This is not a class. This is a temple. Its a place of worship, where you worship education. You can't eat non-veg food here. I am sure someone is eating non-veg because of which the electricity has gone off. I can't see any other reason. Tell me honestly, who is eating non-veg".

Now I don't remember who, but someone from the three of us devilishly said, "Sir, Chirag is eating Chicken maggi!". Time stood still. Chirag was halfway into sucking a huge portion of noodles into his mouth. Tantri's eyes grew to a disproportionate size. Chirag was in two minds - Should I suck the remaining or should I not. He chose the latter with half the noodles dangling. Tantri - "You?! You?!......"

Chirag frantically shoumbled (shouted and mumbled at the same time) - "Its MASALA.. ITS MASALA!!"

Tantri stood there thinking Chirag is lying. He didn't know Chirag was a vegetarian then. He gave Chirag such a "I am disappointed in you" look that Chirag had to sheepishly break the half dangling masala noodles with his teeth and close the box for the day. The electricity came back half an hour later only for Chirag to be on the receiving end of a cold look from Tantri.

We tried to use the Non-veg food - electricity off theory many times after when we didn't want a particular lecture to happen, but surprisingly it never worked!