Lose Control!

A R Rahman and I have been playing hard to get with each other for a few years now. You know, me, in my head, and him, in my head. A few years ago, he came to Birmingham and for reasons that I best not go into, I couldn't go. Last year, I booked tickets for his show in Wembley. And what do you know, as an act of immature and childish personal revenge, he couldn't "make it". So when Noor and I actually entered the SSE arena this year, with A R Rahman about to walk onto the stage any minute, I was visibly excited.

Our seats were in row K, in the Indian single screen theatre equivalent of the 'stall' section. Seats 1 (Noor) and 2 (me). Aisle and the one next to it, respectively. As soon as we sat on our seats, with me smiling enough for the both of us, we spotted an elderly aunty sitting in a separate chair towards the wall of our section, to Noor's left. She seemed nice, and it was apparent she either wasn't keeping well or had some mobility issues. Sure enough, a man probably in his mid thirties, walked up to us. For ease of description, let's just call him 'the best son that ever lived' or 'Best Son' for short. So Best Son walks up to us and says, "Hi guys, could I please ask you for a BIG favour? That's my mom over there. And we have seats 3 and 4, to your right. My mom isn't keeping very well, so could I please ask you to move a couple of seats, only if you wouldn't mind?"

This really was a no-brainer. "Sure no problem at all!", we said in unison and scooched to our right. Noor on seat 3, me on seat 4. "Oh god, thank you so very much, you are so so kind!", Best Son goes. "Please! Don't you worry about it!", Noor said in return. Best son walks to his mom and points in our direction. She smiles and waves. We smile and wave back.

Best Son walks back to us. "It's me again guys, sorry, I am going to get ice cream, and I am going to get you two some as well. Which flavour would you like?"

Noor - "Please, its not necessary at all!"

Me - "Seriously, we are fine, thank you though!"

Best Son - "Guys, we are all Rahman fans here! Let's enjoy together! And its the least I could do for you guys after what you did for mom! Please! Look, I am going to get you ice creams anyway, so better tell me which flavours you would like!"

Noor - "You are terribly nice, but really, we are fine!"

Me - "Chocolate"

Noor looks at me in shock.

"What?", I say under my breath "He might get me a flavour I don't like!"

Best Son - "Perfect, chocolate it is then! And for you?"

Noor still looking at me with disappointment - "Vanilla"

Best Son - "Great!" and he disappears.

"Which song will he open with?!", I ask Noor with unashamed anticipation! "If he opens with Jaage Hai from Guru, I am going to flip out!"

Best Son comes back and hands over the ice-creams. Nice!

I taste mine and immediately hand it back to him. "I wanted the one with chocolate flakes, this doesn't have any!", I say with a frown. I am kidding, calm down!

"Thank you very much, it really wasn't necessary, but thank you!"

Best Son brings aunty with some difficulty to seat 1. She makes it. We share smiles. Aunty is now on seat 1. Best Son on seat 2. Noor on seat 3. And you know the rest of the order. Don't want to insult your intelligence. Best Son looks back and spots seat 2 on the row behind to be empty. He very kindly moves to that seat saying to Noor "Let me move back. You'll get some extra space!". I mean, can he get any nicer! Told you. Best. Son. Of. All. Time. Alright, so... Seat 1 - Aunty. Seat 2 - Empty. Seat 3 - Noor. And you know the rest of the order.

Everything is now in place. We are just waiting for A R Rahman to walk up to the stage. His singers walk in first. I am getting positively delirious. Finally, the moment arrives. The man who eluded me for years was in front of me, in flesh and blood. He lifts up his mic. Without wasting a second and without intimation he croons -  "O Nadaaaaaaaaan!!".

I couldn't believe my luck. He started with "Nadaan Parinday"! I expected him to end with that song, he starts with it! What a legend! I look at Noor! "Wow!! This is where he starts!", I go. Rahman has all of my attention. I forget my surroundings. I am just too overwhelmed! He is half way into the song. Noor taps me on my shoulder. I take a few seconds to recognise it. I ignore it, as you do. The tapping gets a bit harder. I look at her with a 'What?' expression.

"You.............T", that's all I can hear.

"Sorry?"

"You.................T", she says again frantically.

"Can't hear you", I say.

I am about to look back at the phenomenon that was calling out to me on stage, when my eyes catch a little bit of aunty behind Noor. I move sideways to get a better view. She is convulsing!

'Oh my god!', I think. I come out of my Rahman coma, but only halfway. The power of his music still engulfs me. Several thoughts hit me at that moment. 'Shit... She is convulsing! Is she convulsing.. ? No can't be, she was fine a few moments ago! Maybe she is though. Hang on, what if she is just really enjoying Rahman. Yes that makes more sense. But she can't move though! That doesn't make any sense! Hold on.. Her head seems to be moving suspiciously with the rhythm of the song! Wait a minute! Is she........ Is she head banging at a Rahman concert??'

I feel Noor tapping me harder still. I look at her again -"What?", I say.

This time Noor screams at the top of her lungs so I can hear her clearly. Very. Clearly.

"YOU ARE SHAKING AUNTY! YOU ARE SHAKING AUNTY!!"

All of a sudden, everything turned to super slo-mo mode. I could see everything as if I was having a literal out of body experience. I could see myself so shamelessly engrossed in Rahman's rendition that my gigantic ass was involuntarily jumping up and down my seat. Excitedly. Ahem.. VIGOROUSLY.

In physics, resonance is a phenomenon in which a vibrating system or external force drives another system to oscillate with greater amplitude at specific frequencies. Yes, my ass was the 'external force'. Aunty was the 'other system'. She was not head banging. Surprise. She was resonating. Because of me. Vigorously.

I saw her again. God. What a sight. Her face was distraught. Lips pursed to cover a scream. Forehead creased. Neck slightly upturned. Sweat forming over her lips. Her right hand holding on to the empty chair. Holding on for dear life.

From deciphering what Noor said to this moment, must have taken about a couple of seconds. I came out of my Rahman spell. I stopped. I froze. A fraction of a second later, I saw Aunty fall back into her chair. With relief. Her right hand unclenched from the chair beside her. I could see she brought both her hands together, as if to pray.

'Ghar.. Aaaajaaaa', I could hear Rahman finish his song.

I looked at Best Son and he was staring at me with those eyes. "I am really really sorry", I said as I involuntarily placed something in my mouth. It was the chocolate ice cream. That he had bought me. As a thank you gesture. For making his mom 'comfortable'. I slowly removed the spoon from my mouth. I looked at aunty with apologetic eyes. She was unbelievably kind. She didn't say a word. Or maybe she couldn't!

There was no percussion in the world that could make me twitch a muscle for the next 2 hours. I enjoyed the concert, don't get me wrong, But I couldn't help but feel, what Rahman did to me with that first song, it wasn't fair. He should be more responsible.