SAVE ME - Volume 2 - "The roll reversal"

If you are that ONLY person who has read all our blog posts, two things can be assumed -

1. Life deserves more from you.
2. You've assessed by now that Shetty has always been there. ALWAYS.

He was there to save Ankit when he accelerated and braked my kinetic simultaneously. He was there to save the spanking new Kinetic when this guy decided to gracelessly soil it by attempting a 45 degree turn in gravel. He was there in the rickshaw, when a mother wanted to save her daughter at the cusp of puberty. Well, half there. And from him. 

He was there when Ankit met me one evening, seething with anger and disappointment. Shetty had just revealed that he accidentally dozed off on the train back home, and woke up at Kalwa, which was one stop away from Thane. Ankit took particular exception to this, since he thought it was high time Shetty sorted his ways and showed some maturity, discipline and responsibility. Alas, Shetty was also there the very next day when both of them were travelling home. Both of them dozed off this time, but in true poetic justice, it was Shetty who woke Ankit up at Dombivali - 5 stops away from Thane.

He was selfishly there, when he saved himself from partial nudity by tucking in his shirt quick enough, when his untied massage trousers went down without intimation.

Most importantly, he was there when those innocent little red ants needed water-boarding when they were happily feasting on the biggest buffet they had ever been invited to - Chirag's thighs. Shetty responded to Chirag's "Save me guys!" cry with mass murder. That was the extent to which he was ready to go, just to save his friend. One can only imagine why Chirag's trust in Shetty skyrocketed. Shetty's act was certainly heroic, more so because of the diametrically opposite response from Ankit and me, as we decided to shamelessly invent the term 'ROFL' during Chirag's frantic 'SOS' call. But was it super-heroic? With great trust comes greater expectation, which Shetty found out the hard way a few weeks later.

Chirag and Shetty were at some train station on the Central Line, I don't quite remember which one. Doesn't really matter and moreover, when has this blog let facts come in the middle of a good story! The important detail here is that they were on the overhead bridge, about to take the stairs down to the platform. It was one of those structures where there were two flights of stairs separated by a small landing. It was about 2 in the afternoon, so the bridge and the stairs were characteristically less crowded. Also, I should mention that Chirag had a certain spring in his step that day, since he was wearing these new pair of floaters in which he had recently invested.

So both of them casually started their descent down the first flight of stairs. One step down, two steps down, all good. All of a sudden, Chirag's right foot got stuck in his new floaters. Before he knew it or could control it, he lost balance. Now this wouldn't have been funny, but for the manner in which he fell. How would you picture 'Jill', when I say - 'And Jill came tumbling after'? Now picture Chirag as Jill. He literally somersaulted down the stairs, rolling uncontrollably in shock. Now because of the rolling, Chirag quickly covered more distance than Shetty did, since Shetty was taking the more 'conventional' route. Not aware of how far Shetty was, Chirag's expectation got the better of him. As soon as he realised he was bouncing down like a zorb, he somehow made eye contact with Shetty, opened his arms towards him and in true dramatic fashion went - "SAVE MEEEEEE SHETTTYYYYYYY!!! SAVE MEEEEEE!!!".

Shetty, being Shetty, felt for Chirag then. The cry was familiar, but the eye contact and hand gesture made it worse. He really wished he could have done something to stop this awkwardly acrobatic exhibition of Draupadi's vastraharan. But what could he have done? He did attempt to run down the stairs, but gravity was being overtly possessive about Chirag then. For the first time in years, Shetty had failed to "save" something, or even attempt from doing so. As Chirag came to a harsh halt as he reached the landing after the first flight of stairs, Shetty reached a close second, almost catching up with him. With a guilt-ridden face, he helped Chirag get up, made sure that he wasn't hurt, dusted off his jeans and asked him sympathetically, while they continued to walk - "What happened there?! I am so sorry! Are you OK??"

They had almost reached the second flight of stairs when Chirag caught his breath and responded to Shetty's questions - "Man I don't know, it happened too quickly. Didn't even realise it. I think my toe got stuck in my...." - and Chirag went down again! Exact. Same. Thing! Chirag couldn't believe he was rolling again! It was like the first roll was a rehearsal for his final second performance. His religious reflex compelled him to call out to Shetty again, exactly as he had rehearsed seconds earlier - "Save me Shetty!!!!!!!! Pleeeease Shetttyyy!!! Save me!!! Do something! SAVE ME!!!!".

This time however, Shetty didn't even attempt to follow Chirag. The unexpected and unrealistic expectation filled Shetty with the ultimate feeling of inadequacy. The immediate reaction was not sympathy, but rage! He bellowed at Chirag, who was in the middle of his helpless roll - "How!! HOWWW!! How do I SAVE you! Howwwww!? You tell me how! You tell me and I'll do it! How!!?

Chirag was too busy seeing the world go around him.

But Shetty wasn't done yet - "Do you see me wearing my underwear on top of my pants? How do I save you! How?!"

Chirag had landed on the platform by now, thankfully in the upright position. He managed to get up on his own, this time without Shetty's help. He saw Shetty coming down the stairs and stand next to him. Shetty was still seething, when Chirag casually went "Chill dude! Why are you being so over-dramatic?!". There was silence for about 2 seconds.

"Me!!?", Shetty asked in shock. Both of them burst out laughing at the same time after and it continued when they narrated the story to me later.

Could Shetty have saved Chirag? Could he have done more to protect his friend? Could he have shown a little more intent, especially during the second fall? Would Ankit and I have managed to save him, if we were there? Are we better friends to Chirag than Shetty is? I don't know, it's hard to say, but yes. I think so.